Well slap my ass and call me Jimmy, it's time for another holiday pageant!!!!!!!

This month we're celebrating Saint Patrick and whatever the fuck he did to deserve a day named after him. Does anyone even CARE?

Marla Stein does, and that's why she's gathering the tykes and their sweet lil tooshies, and forcing them to perform in front of your stupid faces.

Rumor has it Bernadette Sanders might die before this show, but the jury is still out on that one. Stay tuned, stay alert, stay sex-c.

Her dumbass grandaughter (Irene. Whoa. Plot twist) will most likely be making an appearance, and it will be her goddamn birthday. She'll be looking to get fucked real good, so be sure to come with your best Billy Crystal impressions!!!

Milky fresh lineup for this month:

Lucy Randall (Skaters Only)
Erik Bergstrom (The New Yorker, MTV)
Joe Zimmerman (Comedy Central, Last Comic Standing)
Arti Gollapudi (Brooklyn Demon)
Claire Matson (Chico Comedy)
Irene Fagan Merrow (Above Average, Snakes on a Plane 2 lol jk)

Whoa, this lineup makes me thirsty sip sip slurp gimme gimme.

If you don't come, you don't care about my birthday and that is seriously FUCKED but also makes me horny. Ok c u.